2024- A year of change
The 2024 me was very different from the 2023 me or the 2018 UG me (that I miss till date). Change is hard. When you’re still putting on those rose-tinted nostalgia glasses and the good old days seem rosier than the times now. That feeling of ‘Oh No, I’ve changed. I’m not who I used to be’ kept nagging me the whole of this year. Although I think most changes have been for the better. Times are changing, life is changing, so I had to change too. It’s funny. By the time I get used to a change, it’s already time to change again. Perhaps this is how butterflies feel, too, when they change from a caterpillar? Perhaps they, too, miss their good old leaf-chomping days.
- This year I’ve reduced my planning. For multiple reasons:
I’m now so used to my experiments and a typical PhD day that I don’t have to consciously write down what to do and which order to do. I think its gotten into my subconscious and I can handle things as they come
Also I realised it takes me half an hour or more to plan things that themselves take lesser time.
Not planning my day also means I can handle new things that pop up. In most cases, it's interacting with people. If I’d planned that I’d finish task A by time B and someone wanted to interact with me at that time, I’d miss out on a chance for interaction.
2. Earlier I used to think do less but do well. The idea was that I totally ignore things that are lower in the priority list. But I realised that this makes me miss out on important things sometimes- time with family and friends mostly. So now I’ve shifted to a policy of do all the things that matter and do them all well. Like work and friends and family and travel and running and health and writing. I’m trying to juggle all of it. It makes me tired, but I think it’s worth it.
3. Not being so particular about my sleeping time. This comes directly from the point above. I realised that to make time for more things in my life, I sometimes have to cut down on sleep.
4. Work-life balance: I earlier had a very fixed concept of balance- 8 to 6 working days for work and rest of the hours do other things that I like. Now its more fluid- I work until I feel like working. Sometimes I don’t work during working hours if I feel the need to rest.
5. Earlier, I used to think all work at the lab. But now I think maybe I should also interact with others in the lab. To make the lab a nicer place, because people in my lab seem to like that. It also makes work and cooperation at the lab easier. Also, there’s this new kid in the lab who’s trying to bring us all together, which I really appreciate.
6. I’m working more than I need to because I think I won’t be really at peace until I finish this degree and leave this place. Earlier I used to just work in the working hours. But now I have motivation to work even in the non working hours.
7. But I also feel that its better to suffer now and do a proper thesis here that to leave here soon for the sake of finishing PhD on time. Somehow, from out of all the theses I’ve seen, I think a good thesis takes time to brew, more than thh standard 5 year duration. For the bio field especially. There are a lot more things I want to learn before leaving this institute. It will make it easier to find myself a job after my degree.
8. I realised during my work presentation that there are people who actively go out of their way to bring you down. And it’s not worth it to worry about them. They can’t do anything if you’re strong enough. This came as a surprise to me because I barely have time for my own life, how do these people have time to make things worse for others lol.
9. Earlier I used to get annoyed when my mom does things for me. Why does she have to do this I can do this myself. Why does she have to bother me for this? But now I appreciate these things that she does for me. What else can she do, who else can she do these things for? She loves her daughters way too much.
10. Same goes with my partner too. There are many things that I can do by myself but he sticks around, which makes it better :) And I do the same for him too.
11. I saw my junior not getting upset after kinda flunking his qual exam. And that made me realise- this PhD and my work are no big deal! It’s not worth it to worry too much about these. I mean Idk. But this is what will decide how my future is gonna be so I should be serious about it? Idk I’m confused.
This year was a simple year. Work. Family. Running. Work folks. Some old friends. I changed a lot. Some of my core values even. And I’m grateful for that. It has opened up a lot of exciting experiences I would have otherwise missed out on. Thank you 2024 :)
